The number of young adults diagnosed with cancer is growing. We are often advised to "let go" of things while we get better. If we are parents, this mandate approaches the ridiculous. This is our children's childhood. How can we let go for a year or more of their lives?
The goal of this blog is to aggregate practical and emotional resources to support the ChemoPadres out there. Together, we can pool our wisdom and help each other make it through.
Please send me any questions you think are worth discussing. Any references or agencies that have been useful for you or your family. Caregiving parent support... It's what ChemoPadres is about.
Mon dernier billet
6 years ago
I am a Leukemia survivor who has 2 children. My step-daughter will be 15 and does not live with us full time and my 9yr.old son. I am still recovering and not back to "normal" I think this is the absolute hardest thing for me. I have always been so hands on and active in my childrens lives. I still am but not at the leval I was before. Honestly they are soglad I can do part of what I used to they are happy, it's me who feels like I let the down on occasion...
ReplyDeleteI strongly recommend both the Livestrong-At-School series(covers K-12: www.livestrong.org>cancer support>school) and the Arthur program starring the cartoon Lance (about the lunchroom lady and her cancer/treatment). The Arthur program is available on iTunes :-). My grandson's teacher has just been diagnosed and these were my first recommendations both for at school and for parents at home.
ReplyDeletethank you both! i will check them out.
ReplyDeleteI am a single parent with 3 daughters 21, 14 and 12, the two younger ones live with me.
ReplyDeleteI can honestly say there have been times during my treatment when I have hated my kids.
They did nothing to help me even at my worst. I think they resented me and the cancer because it restricted what I could do for them. All through my chemo I had to get up every day to get them up to go to school they never even offered to make me a cup of tea or to vaccum.
I am so sick of people saying they must be scared and I have to make allowances for them, but no one made any for me. I am only me trying to keep life and soul together, whilst battling cancer and my kids! They even said "Oh mum it's only cancer, we are sick of hearing about it!" I made sure they had support at school with counsellors and family members for them to call and talk to if they needed it. I was open with them and talked to them about their fears etc.
I have spoken to lots of other mums in my situation who have had little or no sympathy, empathy, support or care from their teenage kids and in some cases husbands and partners. It makes me really sad. I really love my girls and it really hurt that they couldnt rise to the challenge of helping me when I needed it.
I have no idea how it is for mums with smaller children I wouldn't like to speculate, but a friend who does have older ones and little ones has said to me the younger ones are easier to deal with, very sweet, caring and loving.
Maybe if I had a more supportive family I wouldnt have felt quite so isolated or resented my girls do much. They are old enough to know better, I don't hold it against them I feel much better in myself now but it still hurts to think about it.
Parenting with cancer is SO hard and we need as much help and support as possible. And we need people to make allowances for us too.....